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glenandvincent


Jul. 29th, 2007 01:46 am Dr Choi

 Want new tits
need  that new nose?
but can't afford it?
saving your  money  to get rid of your bags
Budget too tight to get rid of those stretch marks?

Well wave those worry lines bye bye
we can give you the breasts you  deserve at a price you want.
Pay a beautiful price for a
great new nose.

Losing the marks wont stretch your purse  or leave any scars at  Dr Choi's  clinic

 High quality surgery at a  low price
second floor, daejeon corner
near Lotte department store
above   the sin yoong lingerie emporium.

Come and meet the new you.


Just look for the smiley face

Say something the silence is killing me


Jul. 29th, 2007 01:42 am That`s Entertainment?

The market was full, full to the brim of an extra large sun hat, far larger than the pith helmet I almost bought. It moved as one, a body in search of life and the live,  live  fish, live  octopus, live squid, live traders haggling  loudly  over live animals that bark, meow and sing just as loudly. The body of bodies  climplened and nyloned its way around the streets in the  real national uniform  of the ordinary, oriental gentleman and lady. No, a large straw hat and a dark, thin button up loose suit but a baseball cap,  baggy below the knee shorts and a nike tee shirt. Among the body oriental I moved like a foreigner in a foreign market which  oddly enough exactly what I was.

Past the usual live and non live fare, turning at the stall that sold and cooked the usually inedible parts of animals; I found live entertainment.  A crowd as gathering and  it was beginning to show its quiet but sincere appreciation for the show.  In between a stall that sold a world of noodles and  a  shop populated by bright western leisure wear, a man sat talking into a microphone. He  too was  baggy shorted, tee shirted  and baseball capped; But he had  a bonus  not a glamorous assistant but  interesting straight  man for his jokes and  amusing anecdotes. 

Beside him was a baboon or a some other member of the monkey family, it  as large as tall  the sitting man was.  It had red hair and the expressive eyes mouths and fingers and toes all “cute” monkeys have. It picked cards from a deck, It nodded when he reached a punch line.  It “smiled”, winked and grimaced like a happy, drunken northerner in a pub on a Friday night.  It even raised  its  brows and made “kissy”  faces  which amused and pleased the crowd. It played the primate croupier in a game of cards. It wore funny hat.

All the time the man delivered his banter to happy amused crowd. All the time the man held the metal core of old umbrella in his hand. All the time he patted or playfully slapped the monkey on his hand or head. I wondered how playful the slaps were during the training sessions. How playfully did he use the umbrella handle? In mid story he took out a packet of cigarettes and matches, after a punchline  quickly followed by a wink and kissy face from the monkey he lit up two cigarettes, smoked one himself, the other he gave to his simeon friend. What a clever cute smoking monkey- Everybody laughed. I left.

Say something the silence is killing me


Jul. 4th, 2007 10:57 am Korean cheese production

It is claimed that Korea does not produce cheese. It may not produce edible cheese but it produces lots of the none edible type.  Everything is cuteness, niceness and soppiness so much soppy cuteness you need to walk around shops with a bucket hanging round your neck.  Cards, pens, pencil cases, rulers, notebooks, writing pads and  folders, all covered in luvvy wuvvy, cutey wutey
 fluffy wuffy softness .  The Korean flag should be Hello Kitty and Miffy holding a soppy love heart.
 They love little dogs here, not just to eat.. but as babiesque pets. They dress them in coats, jumpers, hats, shoes and fashion hoodies. They dye their dogs ears bright colours to go with their clothes and shop fronts 
The dominant music form “ballad is just Korean pretty boys whining in a high voice about losing their girlfriend usually (if you believe the videos) to a life of vice with an evil scarred but well dressed, handsome baddie. When the girls take their turn to moan it seems to be about dead, blood- stained, pretty, nice boyfriends who died violent deaths trying to save them from a life of vice with an evil, scarred but well dressed, handsome baddie.
So you see whatever I send it will be dripping with so much sugar and cuteness I doubt envelope will stay dry.
The clothes shops or cutiques as they should be called they are not boutiques they don’t sell boots. The  clothes are all frills, bows and buttons, the girls all dress like doilies. Doilies or Doris day inspired toilet roll holders. They cannot make a plain top or shirt it has to have a flounce or frill or fancy thing stuck on it somewhere usually near the tits. Koreans don’t do subtle. 
Minimal is not Korean word.  The dramas are loud, long,  blood  and tear dripping marathons of suffering while looking pretty.  Their comedy is not in the Oscar Wilde, wit, tongue in cheek style.  Every “funny”, canned laugher moment is signaled with lights and flashes, arrows and pop up texts, telling you that something really funny is happening.
The same cuteness and saccharin that makes the stationary products, music and movies interesting renders the people sexless and nice. Koreans are very pretty, they  all nice, pleasant and sadly unsexy.  They have as a much sexual aura as Doris Day, Meg Ryan and Shirley Temple. They are too smiley and nice to take seriously when they are trying to be sexy. To be one must have darkness and a little bit of threat. It is the tension between the potential for sex and the potential for harm that makes that sexual thrill real. That edge between sex and violence, pleasure and pain  it cannot be found in a  nice sisterly face that smiles and bows to your requests too easily. Only an equal can be sexy.

 

Current Location: in the Merleau Pontyiesque chiasm
Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: the old familiar buzz

Say something the silence is killing me


Jul. 4th, 2007 10:53 am Heat and lies

The  heat is  .. the heat is well .. well ..hot..  The usual British gent abroad at comes from the nice and usually warmer south of the country. With its lack ivy covered country homes and dreaming spires and serious lack of factories and power plants that allows some sun to hit the skin of the fortunate southerner. Imagine the shock to the northerners, pollution raised, soot and nutty slack perfumed frame  this climate.. it not only tries to  boil you to death but it sometimes gets very really vicious and tries to drown you too. The monsoon season is upon here. It everything hot.  Hot and wet. Do you remember the smell of your house when your Gran was baking bread?  Remember the warm not unpleasant smell of the kitchen with the air being heated by the oven in the corner. Remember the tinge of anticipation  that hid in the smell , in  the kids who waited for the first warm slice  with butter and jam. Well that is what the city smells like .  Daejeon is a large farmhouse kitchen filled with kids of all ages and sizes waiting, anticipating- not the bread- but the rain. It briefly cools you only to turn the whole city into a large hot shower.
 Heat is here,  heat and lies . Lies like air conditioning. As an Englishman, coming from country that never gets warm enough to need it, it was a relevant as  the mythic  unicorn carrying the last virgin queen of the elves to the land of the golden dead. It is a it does  it is not air  conditioning  it is air pushing. It only push the hot air away from where it is to somewhere else. I have a warm flat, warm living room, warm balcony, warm bathroom.  So I put the air pushing machine. The area near the machine is   now cold enough to geld the virgin carrying unicorn and the bathroom and balcony are like the inside of gran’s  bread oven. The machine has just pushed the hot air around a bit and made it hotter in the process. 
The daejeon  underground lies  too. This is a culture like all cultures a collective culture, only this a collective culture that does not pretend not to be . A nation of utilitarian Vulcans all agreeing that the needs of the  many outweigh the needs of the one. The system does not even allow you the myths of individualism or autonomous action. No buttons to push at the crossing  so you  cannot “make” the cars  stop  and the turn the green man on. No you wait and wait and wait until the system decides the green man should arrive. The doors of the metro trains have no button open them with. The train stops and the doors give another lesson in patience as they wait to decide when to open themselves
 Young people  and drunks cannot go up the down escalator or down the up escalator without a siren informing the world of their rebellious action.  Deajeon metro has book shelves full of books you can borrow to read on your journey  they are taken from the shelves at one station and returned to the shelves at another. They are always returned.  Imagine the same scheme in London within few weeks there would be nothing but bookshelves empty of books but full of fag ends, litter and used condoms.  No the doors lie. The nice American lady announces in a pleasant voice 
“The door is closed” in the spaces between those simple words is the message. “So you will not try squeeze on and also I do not need to tell you to mind the gap because I know you will because you do not want to inconvenience your fellow passengers by getting your foot ripped off your whole body mashed to pulp.”
But the doors are not closed, they are about to close or they maybe closing but they are not closed yet.
The screens in the trains also use nice pictures remind you that you should not bring guns, knives, explosives or Molotov cocktails on to the train, just incase you forget.


Current Mood: awakeawake
Current Music: none just faint buzz

Say something the silence is killing me


Jun. 30th, 2007 12:11 pm Thanks to Tommy Cooper

COOPERISM

 

P doctor it hurts when I do that

D so don't do it then

P oi I come in all good faith with my arm, my problems and you give me that

only that

"so don't do it then"

D You came with a pain, a problem and I have given you a solution to the problem a simple solution to your pain.

a way to stop hurting yourself.

P sometimes I have to do that

D Why? just don't put yourself in position where you have to do that

 

P So how do get the beans from the top shelf?

D do this instead or get some else to do that.

You know it hurts me doing this  ,here now this . I'd rather do that.

 

P I'd rather you did this

d could you do this?

p I could pay somebody to do this for while you go and do that.

d so you want to do neither that or this

p no I don't  want to do either this or that. cos this is too hard and that hurts

d so does this

d would doing neither make you happy?

p yes

d your doing neither would me happy too

p why you would have no patients?

d I haven't now

p it shows . your patients need your help

d and  I give  them it

  I,m helping you now.

p so I should just stop doing that.

 d yes

p  and you should stop doing this

d thank you doctor

p you're welcome send in the next patient on your way out

d I was the last patient.

 

 

Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Current Music: still in PC bang. the noise of people killing things

Say something the silence is killing me


Jun. 30th, 2007 11:59 am The Heat and Lies

hot evening all..
The heat is .. the heat is well .. well ..hot.. The usual British gent abroad at comes from the nice and usually warmer south of the country. With its ivy covered country homes and dreaming spires and serious lack of factories and power plants that allows some sun to hit the skin of the fortunate southerner. Imagine the shock to the northerners, pollution raised, soot and nutty slack perfumed frame this climate.. it not only tries to boil you to death but it sometimes gets very really vicious and tries to drown you too. The monsoon season is upon here. It everything hot. Hot and wet. Do you remember the smell of your house when your Gran was baking bread? Remember the warm not unpleasant smell of the kitchen with the air being heated by the oven in the corner. Remember the tinge of anticipation that hid in the smell , in the kids who waited for the first warm slice with butter and jam. Well that is what the city smells like . Daejeon is a large farmhouse kitchen filled with kids of all ages and sizes waiting, anticipating- not the bread- but the rain. It briefly cools you only to turn the whole city into a large hot shower.
Heat is here, heat and lies . Lies like air conditioning. As an Englishman, coming from country that never gets warm enough to need it, it was a relevant as the mythic unicorn carrying the last virgin queen of the elves to the land of the golden dead. It is a it does it is not air conditioning it is air pushing. It only push the hot air away from where it is to somewhere else. I have a warm flat, warm living room, warm balcony, warm bathroom. So I put the air pushing machine. The area near the machine is now cold enough to geld the virgin carrying unicorn and the bathroom and balcony are like the inside of gran’s bread oven. The machine has just pushed the hot air around a bit and made it hotter in the process.
The daejeon underground lies too. This is a culture like all cultures a collective culture, only this a collective culture that does not pretend not to be . A nation of utilitarian Vulcans all agreeing that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one. The system does not even allow you the myths of individualism or autonomous action. No buttons to push at the crossing so you cannot “make” the cars stop and the turn the green man on. No you wait and wait and wait until the system decides the green man should arrive. The doors of the metro trains have no button open them with. The train stops and the doors give another lesson in patience as they wait to decide when to open themselves
Young people and drunks cannot go up the down escalator or down the up escalator without a siren informing the world of their rebellious action. Deajeon metro has book shelves full of books you can borrow to read on your journey they are taken from the shelves at one station and returned to the shelves at another. They are always returned. Imagine the same scheme in London within few weeks there would be nothing but bookshelves empty of books but full of fag ends, litter and used condoms. No the doors lie. The nice American lady announces in a pleasant voice
“The door is closed” in the spaces between those simple words is the message. “So you will not try squeeze on and also I do not need to tell you to mind the gap because I know you will because you do not want to inconvenience your fellow passengers by getting your foot ripped off your whole body mashed to pulp.”
But the doors are not closed, they are about to close or they maybe closing but they are not closed yet.
The screens in the trains also use nice pictures remind you that you should not bring guns, knives, explosives or Molotov cocktails on to the train, just incase you forget.

Current Location: PC bang in Saedaejeon
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: they are playing my song- "Vincent"

Say something the silence is killing me


May. 23rd, 2007 02:30 pm I am the only one

 Property.. property.. must have property.. !
 Won`t waste money in  rent... how is it   wasted  if it is  keeping a roof  over  your head ,a floor beneath  your feet and  four walls around you.  is  ( keep your body alive)buying food a waste of money  too?   Looking after basic human needs is not a waste!   Buying things you don`t need like flash cars, large houses, Holiday homes,private jets etc etc etc ec that is  wasting money. The whole system  depends on fools like us  wasting money-consuming.
Ok so you have not got your foot on the property ladder
 So you have  not got that prison sentence of huge debt  you call a  mort gage..
 
 " but buying is so much cheaper than  renting" True and you all know  why. Because  capitalist sheep insist on    fighting to get  onto the property ladder.. to the "English dream" of property ownership.  This  drives the market prices up which in turn makes renting more expensive than buying and it should not be!  
 We  should stop being sheep!
Stop wanting  what we are told  we should  want!
Stop  the buying and the prices,  maybe the  whole thing may crash
 I  cant wait to see those property  developers and stock market snakes  leaping from the balconies.

Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: no music just the noise of Korean chatting

Say something the silence is killing me


May. 23rd, 2007 12:02 pm The plot so far

 I am still here.. and I have not had to become American yet? But you never know. I am still entertained by their Eastern wierdness as I imagine they are by my western wierdness.
>The Live animal corner and pet insects in the supermarket moments was beaten by a moment infront of a fish restaurant. The soon- to- be- food fish were in the tank as usual but then one swam post that must have been in fight and lost. It swam past one way fine and fishy but it turned around and it had an empty eye socket where the other one should have been.
>Tomorrow is Buddha's birthday and a national holiday..no work yippee. Happy birthday fat happy man! I am teaching some older students in "free conversation" class . These students need to develop their discussion and debating skills to pass some posh high school test. So we are using a book called Teen talk- 20 issues that matter to teens.. written by an  american with the oriental mentality in mind .. I dissagree with most of what the books tells them.
> 1 Telling an adult about a bully does not make things worse. Yeh sure he never went to school in an English council Estate.
>2 Studying is vital to make sure you have " good" job that will bring you money and a happier life.. "it will even effect who you will marry"( so could your choice of bar or the direction you turn at the next corner..) They raising a generation of limited thinking conformist breadheads with no vision or freedom in their suburban souls.
>3 Real Romantic love is about commitment and respect.. just give me a bucket!
>
> I am the sure the book will fill me with even more disgust before long. the next " issue" is talking about the pros and cons of going to college and working hard to get a good degree.. etc etc.. college v drop out.. I know whose side I`m on. 

 one student  in a section on "neighborhoods"  decided that a public library was less important  than a  internet cafe.

Current Location: my local local PC bang
Current Mood: cynicalcynical
Current Music: the celestrial throb of universal human harmony-

Say something the silence is killing me


May. 16th, 2007 11:41 am the name of the next big thing

 I was wondering home to my small korean hovel, the one  room with a  small shower that sometimes smells of dead towels because of a  useless  ventilation fan.  ( thank Evolution  for air fresheners)I  had  to cross the road at the World Cup stadium-  the  green man   lit up ,before  crossing I checked  both ways for red light light ignoring " fast and furious" watchers as you do  when crossing a nocturnal roads in Daejeon-  Crossing the road at all here is  fun   there are not button to push and a you  could read a whole Russian novel  before the lights change in this car loving city. When you do get a chance to move  you do it fast ,the roads  here are all 6 lanes wide and filled cars that eat slow pedestrians.
So  here I am safely on the  other side of the road  and walking over the daejeon worldcup bridge.  There it  was- the name   of the band, the   and even the name of   their first/best/ only album .

 I assume it  had something to do with stopping the bridge from falling down  but:-
" Tuned Mass Damper" and  "Dynamic Vibration Absorber"  have to  be used for something more interesting than just holding a bridge up. No  doubt some gothy/ Techy/wierdy  even  beardy being could tell me what  they actually do
 but I just  like the sound of  the words.. not sure which is the band name/ book title  and  which is the album title but..

Current Location: pc station in noeun
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: no mudic the noise people killing things

Say something the silence is killing me


May. 11th, 2007 12:02 am Bye byr Blairy bye bye

 I won`t miss him.. not that a hate him  quite as much as his  role  model Mrs Thatcher- now she was really evil. But  he was not one of my favourite people.  but then he was  politician even worse a Christian, Capitalist  one.  Now there`s a contradiction in terms a Christian Capitalist..  

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